Thursday, August 28, 2014

It is called 'Survival of the Fittest'

Aunt Louise and I went to lunch yesterday and parked right next to this 'relic'.

I was particularly captivated by the handicapped placard in the window (did that apply to the driver or the car?) and the....

decoration on the front grill.

We never had a chance to see this wonder car in action, and I was skeptical that it had even arrived under its own capacity.  But, lo and behold, it was mysteriously gone when we returned after lunch.

You know you are in Texas by the decorations on the restaurant walls, and the...

inevitable 'Roadkill Menu' on display.

Now for a 'Mary update':  Her electricity is back on after almost two weeks.  Life got a little hairy in paradise but it is somewhat back to normal now.  It seems the occasional resident became aggressive when ice was distributed and there was not enough to go around to everyone.  Imagine, if you will, what the 'Open Carry' law might produce in such a circumstance.  I remember the Cuban-missile crisis when every grocery store in Houston ran out of bread and water, the gasoline lines in the late 70's, the search for batteries and tape during a hurricane watch in New Orleans.  There were many fights as people jockeyed for a place in line for some essential or another.  I guess we all lose patience when we feel that need to survive,  no matter how civilized we think we have become.
Mary continues to communicate through a variety of friends, tom-toms and smoke signals as her phones (landline and cell) and computer are still out.
Her kitchen flooring survived the thawed out and melted assortment of fruits, vegetables and meat drippings from the freezer, but her closet did not fare so well from the cat drippings.  Her cat found refuge in the closet for more than just a place to sleep,  plus he was unable to get outside for several days.  It seems the house-sitter forgot such a small thing as a litter box.  So Mary has had to wash all the clothes--several times--discard shoes and clothes that would not lose that wonderful aroma, and finally, tear up the floor boards to scrub the underfloor.  Hmm, Looks like Jim is not going to escape entirely from this event and will have some work to do when he returns from his Colorado hunting trip.

Aunt Louise update:  She continues to adjust to her new 'digs',  meeting new friends and deciding it is 'Okay' to downsize.
She has officially put the river-front property in Glen Rose up for sale and there have been two calls on it so that looks promising.
She has also agreed to allow her two storage units full of collectibles to be put into an estate sale in September.  So, slowly, she is finding the courage to 'let go' of things that have been an integral part of her life for the last 50 years.

My sister, Jo, is arriving this Saturday from Redding, Ca and will be here for three weeks.  Needless to say,  I am looking forward to spending some time with her.

The weather has been hot and mostly dry with an occasional, insufferably hot and muggy,  day.  The chiggers have left me alone for almost a week now, I haven't seen a snake or a scorpion in that same length of time.  I no longer crave barbecue or chicken fried steak  and still love sleeping in the RV at night--all curled up with Sigh Me.  I'm planning to head back to Tucson on October 1st.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Update on sister Mary

For family and friends who are asking....

     Mary is back in Hawaii but she did not escape the hurricane unscathed.  The best description of her misfortune is one made by her friend and a fellow blogger at "Hattie's Web"--there is a link over there on the right side of this posting.  Be sure and read both postings for March 14th, starting with "Help". 

      Mary is also struggling with the problems alone as Jim is hiking up in the mountains of Colorado and is out of phone range.  It was just a year ago that she fell out of the papaya tree and broke her knee.  Jim was in Colorado when that happened too.  

     I'm sure there is a punchline to this but it eludes me.  I can't even find a photo to fit but, Mary, the following book is recommended reading:




Am I Ready?

"The beginnings and endings of all human undertakings are untidy."  John Galsworthy

My journey of the last three years has taught me a lot about the country, family, friends, my adaptability,  and more.  There is one lesson I did not expect and it is perhaps the most valuable..."am I ready for the inevitable?"

Somehow we think our lives will go on, right to the end, in just the same fashion they are right now.  That we won't need someone else to help us eat, dress, maintain our homes, or watch out for us in the hospital.  Well, folks, I hate to break it to you but that time is now!  Our ability to be independent can change in a heartbeat!  I was 63 when I had my heart attack.  My mother was 49 when rheumatoid arthritis hit her and, for a year, she was completely bedridden and unable to care for herself.  I know someone who has been a quadriplegic from the age of 18.  It is a dangerous world out there and car accidents, viruses, body breakdowns, or recessions can change our world overnight.

Good Grief!  What is happening to my usually optimistic self?    I know I am not ready for any of the afore mentioned possibilities.  Any disaster to me would fall into the lap of one or all three of my children, or to my sisters,  and, if I have not laid the groundwork, that would be a real disservice to those I love.

From my brother-in-law, Don, I learned first-hand that hospitals can be very dangerous places and you need a loved one, or a very close friend,  to monitor your progress.  That person (or persons) needs to have access to all the relevant information--What is the diagnosis? Prognosis? What drugs am I taking? Why are they being given? What are the side effects? Who's the doctor?  When and who decides it is time for a second opinion?  

With Don I learned that there is something called the Hippa law that says "no one except a spouse or a parent of a minor may get answers to those questions unless their names are written into a medical power of attorney".  

But what if the spouse is not in the picture?  What if the minor is now old enough to drink--and drive?  Folks, it is never too soon to assign someone to do your medical-monitoring--everyone needs a 'designated decider'.  And don't name just one lucky person to do the job--two or three friends or family members may be needed to fulfill that task. 

Point two--ask each one if they are willing then copy each one with the POA so, in an emergency, they can arrive at the hospital with that valuable document in hand.  
I have decided that, if I continue to travel--alone--and in an RV, I had better have a ready Medical Power of Attorney.  Do I?  Of course not.  I do have something legal and stashed away in my storage unit but no one would ever find it in an emergency.  

So, this week, I will go to work on a legal form I can keep in the RV as well as send to the people I want to make those decisions for me.  You lucky ducks!

Friday, August 8, 2014

A New Home, A New Life

UPDATES:  Hurricane Leslie is hitting the 'Big Island' as I type this but sister Mary and her husband, Jim, are safely in Colorado on vacation.  Family and friends are waiting on a report that her house has withstood the onslaught of wind and rain but I feel sure all will be okay.  Marianna (from the blog "Hattie's Web") is just as vulnerable as her house is in view of the ocean and less than a block away. But Marianna and her husband, Terry, are safe in Washington right now.  Good planning, guys!  We will stay tuned and think only positive thoughts.

(I met this little munchkin at the laundromat last week and couldn't resist the picture.)

No doubt, the hardest move we ever have to make, is that last one, and very few of us are ready for the decisions needed to make it less traumatic.

Her first decision was to find the best place and, for Aunt Louise, we found Hill Villa in Ft Worth.  Then we had to decide what to bring from a 3000 + square foot home to a 900 sq ft. apartment.  Sister Mary came for a two week visit to help select and move paintings, furnishings and keepsakes.  We are still struggling with the idea of selling home, land, antiques, etc and so far those decisions are on the back burner.  
I am learning that, for each of us, those decisions are best dealt with over longer periods of time,  in smaller increments, and when our coping abilities are more reliable so that the maximum amount of 'good results' may be achieved.  Liquidating assets during a crisis is not ever the best way to go.   
Is that why I am selling a house that is too big for me to maintain?  Yep!  And no, there is nothing to report in that vein.  It may be because my house was listed for three months stating "no air conditioning!  Hmm, and in Arizona.  The only advantage of not selling the house right away is that I have had lots of time to spend with Aunt Louise.

The second decision, for her, is to establish a social life as quickly as possible.  Hill Villa is very near a number of Aunt Louise's friends and family so that has been easy for her.  Her friend Dorothy has come to visit along with lots of others.  Dorothy, who is the same age as Aunt Louise and also lives alone, has just undergone some heart surgery. ( It appears that another traumatic decision may be in the works very soon.)

(Aunt Louise, Jerry, Chelsea, Blake, Kathy, Mary and me)
Her cousin, Jerry, and his family live nearby and when Mary visited we took the opportunity to have a Sunday lunch together.  

Aunt Louise's next door neighbor is also a 'Louise'.  They have meals together at the same table and are becoming fast friends.  Once the two met, and Aunt Louise was no longer having to eat pureed foods,  she became more interested in leaving her apartment and going to the dining room for meals.

 And that opened the door to a whole new world of activities.  These pictures are from the monthly birthday party.....

Rum punch was served and an entertainer was brought in to sing and encourage dancers.

A lot of encouragement wasn't necessary, there were eager participants from the first song.  This gentleman is famous for his stylish footwear and his enthusiasm, hence he never lacked a partner.

The emcee was a hoot, he flirted with all the ladies and sang lots of songs everyone knew the words to. 
 There are many social events that I hope Aunt Louise will get into once I leave in October and she is more confined.  But again, we are moving in baby steps...cha, cha, cha.

The decision to sell property that has been hers for 50 years (15 acres in Glen Rose) or in the family for many generations (many acres near Sulphur springs) is disturbing, unsettling and jarringly difficult.  That decision is on hold at the moment but we did take a trip to Glen Rose to find the corner markers on that property.  Aunt Louise found the old tree that she is sure is one corner but the markers are long buried.

One side of the property is the Pawluxy River that is famous for its dinosaur tracks in the stones.  My sisters and I remember swimming in the river as youngsters and putting our feet in the tracks. The property begins just beyond the cemetery on the left in the above photo.
Next week we will go to Sulphur Springs and check out that property, but I don't expect anything  further.  

Aunt Louise did decide to make one more acquisition--a new recliner.  We spent the day shopping which took quite a while since we had to try out each and every chair we saw.  When she sat in this one  and pushed the remote buttons all the way back I asked, "How does that feel?"  
"Fine," she said, "But it just took my clothes off!"  Sure enough, it pulled her pants down in the back. We thought that might be a good feature--to help you undress at night--but passed on it to buy a new chocolate brown one that will be delivered next week.

And finally, she wanted to go to an estate sale one weekend.  She was warned before hand that we weren't going to buy anything, and she even stepped back and let someone else purchase this fantastic prize and 'great bargain' of a taxidermied turkey. Ah, progress indeed.

One last note:  While Mary was here one Friday night we went to Central Market to enjoy their outdoor patio for a beer, a buffet salad, a band and lots of family dancing.

This couple was really good but .....

This couple was more captivating.

She had lots of rhythm and couldn't stop bouncing to the music. (I am a sucker for baby pictures.)

Thank you to any of you that are still with me on this blog.  It is sometimes hard to get a connection for wifi or the time to sit with it but I promise to do updates as often as possible.

I expect to leave for Tucson the first of October then on to California for the last week in October.  My son, Ron, and his fiancĂ©, Loretta from Australia,  will be getting married on the 29th of October and we are expecting a fun time.  The wedding will be at the Presidio in Santa Barbara. 

(Loretta, I am so pleased you two are finally able to tie the knot. This has been a very long and very difficult time for you both.  But I know you two will  be very happy and I am so excited to get to better know my new daughter-in-law.)